The Friend, with Benefits?

Hello blogosphere, Tiger Lily here!!

Well it has certainly been an interesting couple of weeks since I last posted on here.
Lets start with the ladies!
I FINALLY was able to book some time in the lady-sphere which was much needed as the drought has been quite long.  I went to a friend's birthday party last weekend, and there were a lot of people that I didn't know, so of course I knew it was going to be a fun night.  I was standing downstairs by myself, trying to decide where to mingle, when all of the sudden I heard Tech N9ne playing over the speakers.  Now Tech has always helped me out in a tight spot, and boy, his music can do wonders to help people *ahem* connect.  So the song comes on and, because I am standing by my lonesome, I start rapping along. (With a 45 minute commute everyday, I get quite bored in my car). As I am rapping to myself, probably looking a little bit crazy and a lot a bit weird, a girl walks over to me.  She looks at me and says "wow, you like Tech 9, and you can rap really fast" (HA) so I winked at her a said "thats not the only impressive thing I can do with my tongue".  Needless to say about 20 minutes later me and this little lady were doing things that would make the the Pope wince and hide under his big hat.  It was nice to be with a woman again, as it is more tender and sensual than being with a man.  Hopefully I will see that little firecracker again soon.

Next, we of course, have the Friend.  Now we have been talking every day since my last blog post.  Last weekend I was sick and he came over and made me food and took care of me while I was coughing and covered in boogers, super attractive I know. On Wednesday night we were hanging out, for the third night in a row, when he tried to kiss me.  I stopped him, and asked him why he always felt the need to randomly stop talking to me.  The answer, is something I would rather not post about here, as it is very personal for him, but nonetheless a good enough answer for me.  So we then started hooking up, and before I knew it we were both naked and he was on top of me.  Now, this has happened before but instead of us having sex we end up doing other things.  Well bloggers, I am happy to say that on Wednesday, it FINALLY happened.  After a year of hooking up on and off, we had sex, and let me say, it was definitely worth the wait!  Between the friend and Miami, I'm starting to think that waiting is much better than just "hopping on the horse" right away.  So after Wednesday night the Friend and I woke up, had breakfast together and then went on with our days.  We hung out on Thursday, cuddled, but nothing else happened.  We hung out on Friday, and slept together again.  He made me breakfast on Saturday morning.
Then last night, I went out with Just Another Girl, and the White Knight.  While I was out on the town with my lady, the Friend was at my house, making me chili.  I came home and we ate chili, cuddled, and fell asleep.
Now I am confused.  What do I really want from the Friend? It seems as though sex has not (yet) changed anything in our relationship.. have I truly found a Friend with Benefits who cooks for me, is actually my friend, and someone I can sleep with?  I guess only time will tell and we will see if a friend with benefits relationship can happen sans drama.
Until next time blogosphere,
Tiger Lily

There's a Time and a Place

Hello again and happy Monday.
I hope all of you are recovering from the weekend. I on the other hand had little to recover from. My pocket book is empty, my time is running out, and I have too many things on my to do list. It seems as though my final 10 days in Minnesota will be "Love" free. As boring as that may seem, I am realizing that  there is a time and a place for men. Unfortunately for the bachelors in Minnesota, I am off the market. I guess time will tell when I reach Dallas if a southern gentleman will be able to romance me.

For now I have been focusing on my friends and my career. I attended a very successful gossip girl party the other night in which a few of us girls from work drank wine and watched countless episodes of my favorite guilty pleasure. I also took the day today to pack and finish the final touches to my application to study abroad in London. Things seem to be going on the right track, and with out men in my life I have significantly lessened the drama.

I look at all of my friends going through relationships and breakups and sometimes find myself thinking "Thank God I'm single." It may get lonely at times, but it is also liberating. This is my time to explore the world and do what I want to do. There will be plenty of time for men along the way.
Also did I mention that Tiger Lily and I just booked our flights for spring break!!! Miami here I come. Now all that's left is to get in shape for those skimpy bikinis and cocktail dresses.

Cheer's to the single life and to focusing on what really matters.

-Just Another Girl

Name Your Price

Hello again,
Just Another Girl here. So I hope you tuned in to hear about my interesting night I had. The two glasses of mountain dew and an entire day of sitting around my small apartment made me stir crazy and a bit of an insomniac. Around 3 am I received an email on OK cupid from a 37 year old man. I was going to delete the  message right then and there, but I was bored and had nothing better to do. So I took the time to read his message. The man claimed to be a CEO for a company in Plano, TX. For my MN friends Plano is the richer Wayzata of TX. The place where all the people with money live in the Dallas/ Fort worth area. The poor college student side of me was a bit intrigued. So I began reading his appeal.

This man was recently divorced and was looking for a fun relationship with a younger girl. He said something along the lines of "I want to spoil you, if you'll let me."  Again my boredom got the best of me and I decided to email him back respectfully declining his offer. A few minutes later however I receive a message from him. He wanted to know why I was so reluctant to just grab coffee with him. I simply stated that he was 37 and I was 23. The age difference was clearly something that I wasn't into. He then began to "negotiate". He stated that he had a lot of money and that he would pay me 2K to just go on a date with him. This made me very suspicious. What were the strings attached to this deal? 2k is a lot for someone like me, but the risk and my morals kept my guard up. I declined his offer again, but this man would not give up.  He bumped up his offer to 5K. This time however it would be for more than just a simple date. I began to get a little offended. I wasn't something he could buy, but a part of me was a bit turned on that someone would want to pay FIVE THOUSAND dollars for me. It is a weird feeling when your morals are tested by money. Money I desperately need for student loan and London.

I began to think hard about this, but I could not imagine this could be a good situation. A safe situation. I again told him no and that I was not that kind of girl. He shouldn't have to buy someone's time. He then made one final offer. He would pay me 10K to just give him a chance, and then if things went somewhere he would pay me 1K every time after. At this point London, Pairs, Chanel purses, and  Burberry floated through my mind. I could have more money than I have ever had in my lifetime, for just one night with this guy! It was 4 am at this point and I was aware that any decisions made after 2 am are usually bad ones. So I told him no thank you. He told me to think on it.

A few days later he popped up on my messages again. He asked if I had thought about his offer. I once again told him no.
1. He was 37
2. Not even close to my type
3. My morals would never allow me
4. I didn't know him
5. This was not safe!

He disagreed with me once again that I should just give him a chance. "Couldn't you be some psycho killer?" I asked.  He laughed at that and sent me the website of his company. Sure enough there was his picture on the page and everything seemed legit. Now I was really confused. "Why would you need to pay someone" I asked... Besides his obvious age and appearance. "Because it's kind of a fantasy to finance your trip abroad." He said. Soo guys like being Sugar Daddies? It's some sort of turn on?

This Love for Money thing has me all twisted. Part of you feels extremely guilty that part of you is tempted by the green. It is somehow flattering that you could be worth 10 thousand dollars. Am I a bad person for being intrigued? Now I wont do anything stupid or rash, but 10K isn't something you can just walk away from.

I know a few people in the sex industry and it has always been interesting to me, but the question of whether I could do that...well that has been plaguing my mind.

Help?
Just Another Girl.

Tiger Lily takes over

 Hello all!! Since Just another girl is taking a long, much needed break from men, I figured it was time once again to fill all of you in on my life :)

Lets first catch up on the flames I last told you about.  Right after my last post in November, the Friend again disappeared from my life, just stopped returning my calls and texts.  I talked to a mutual friend of ours who told me he one day said "I have to stop talking to Tiger Lily" and that was it.  Was it something I did?  Maybe it was because I brought up the fact that we have never had sex, or maybe he met someone else.  As they say, "If you are getting mixed signals, it usually means someone else in in the mix".
The Pimp and my Turkish Delight did not work out as I had hoped, especially the Pimp.  After trying to get together for 2 weeks, he texted me one night saying "Okay, we should just get together and fuck". To which I obviously replied "Uhh no thank you, I have self respect".  He asked me out to dinner but I declined, not a man I want to get to know.  I went on a date with REM, the man from my work, but as it turns out he had no opinions about anything, and for an opinionated girl like myself, this will not fly, I need someone who will push back and who actually stands up for themselves!!

So I was ready to just give up on men and focus on women, when over the holidays one of my oldest friends, we can call him Miami, contacted me.  We have known each other for six years, and let me just put it out there, I wanted to have sex with him the first time I met him, 6 years ago.  Four years ago he moved away to Miami, and we get together every time he comes into town.  This time, we went out to dinner and Dave and Busters, I was determined to make something happen.  After dinner and some games, he asked me if I wanted to come back to his place and watch a movie.  Now, at the age of 22, we all know what "watch a movie" means, so obviously I accepted his invitation. We got back to his place and he put in a horror movie and sat on the couch.
We started watching the movie and he started to inch closer to me until we were holding hands.  Now, for me, Miami has always been my unattainable school girl fantasy, so the thoughts going through my head were along the lines of "holy shit, this is actually going to happen, fuck yeah".  He gently grabbed my face and kissed me.  It was everything I had hoped it would be.  We continued to hook up and ended up having sex.  Afterwards we cuddled and restarted the movie, as we missed the majority of it. We hooked up again then finally finished the movie, and I went home at the ripe hour of 4am in bliss.  Every night after that for the next 5 nights we would get together and "watch a movie".  Then New Years Eve came.  We ended up at the same concert and I found him in the crowd at 11:45pm.  We started chatting then the countdown started.  When the countdown got to "0" I turned to him and as balloons and confetti fell from the ceiling we kissed.  It felt like my life was a movie, and I could not have been happier....but he got on a plane the next day to go back to Florida.  It was the perfect week, mind-blowing sex topped off with a movie-quality New Years Eve. I am going to Southbeach with Just Another Girl and another friend of ours in March, and am looking forward to seeing Miami again.

After Miami left, I was perfectly contented to again focus on the ladies, and out of the blue last week I get a call from who else, but the Friend.  He says he misses me and wants to hang out.  We hung out last weekend in a group which was fine.  I dropped him off and as we hugged he kissed my cheek.  He has called me every day since and just asked me out on Friday.  What is this guy's deal???! I am going to get the the bottom of it before he gets anywhere near my belt buckle.

I have been on the prowl for ladies, but keep getting distracted by all these men.  Hopefully by my next post, I will have a lady to be updating you on!

Lots of love to the blogosphere
Tiger Lily

Can't a Woman Get a Free Drink Anymore?

This is a true story, a sad true story.  About a year ago I was at a local bar with Miss Tiger Lily and we were out on the patio enjoying the warm summer air. She lit a cigarette and we began chatting about men or something. Along comes this cute guy asking if he could bum a few cigarettes. I jokingly state that perhaps we should do a trade off and he could buy my friend a drink. He seems to contemplate this for a few moments, then shakes his head and says never mind.

Since when has buying a woman a drink become old fashioned? Has chivalry all but gone extinct? I was walking into the mall the other day and the man ahead of me could not spare 2 seconds to hold open the door. Instead I got hit smack in the face by the swinging door. This really infuriated me. Everyone, man or woman should at least hold the door open! Are good manners and romancing dead? It's an everyone for himself kind of world, and if a man even buys us dinner we feel as though we now owe him something in return.

I will state that any man that buys me a drink at least gets a shot at conversation with me. But is conversation enough for men these days? Especially in a bar atmosphere? Maybe men are now realizing they don't have to spend a buck to get a bang. Then whose fault is it? The girls that use men for drinks? The men who aren't willing to wait for a quality girl? The lazy Bro's that can't take the time to be a gentleman?  Maybe the problem is that I am dating the wrong generation? But is older necessarily better? These are a lot of questions that I still have no answer for.

Really men a rail is 3 to 4 dollars at a bar. I am not asking for much, but a little effort would be nice instead of you just sneaking in and grinding up on me. Don't think of buying a drink for a woman as an automatic in, but rather an ice breaker. Now get out there and play the game.

"99 Problems"

Well, how should I begin? Transitional periods in your life are a bitch. You clumsily fumble your way through it. Transition is the state in which I am at in my life right now, and of the billion things that are changing in my life none of my problems deal with men and dating. (That's a first). You may wonder if I have given up on the blog entirely. The answer is no. However for a while I had decided to give up on everything. I have never felt so lost when I had no desire to even try at life. 

Everyone says that I should be happy and excited for my move down south to Texas. Believe me, a part of me is ecstatic to begin a new chapter to my life. Sadly life changing decisions and people are not as simple as being happy. I am filled with fear, anxiety, and sadness. Minnesota has been my home for my entire life. I have an amazing group of friends here and a life and reputation that I have worked my ass off to achieve. For a few weeks I sat in my apartment alone. I believe it was my attempt at slowly dissociating myself to those I love. Part of me wants to push my friends away in hope of making leaving them easier. I stopped dating men because I began to wonder what the point of it was. Frankly I was hoping no one would give me a reason to stay. That window of opportunity had closed where I was hopping for Mr. Right to yell "Don't get on the plane".  Well technically in my case it would be "Don't get in that moving truck". 

After a few weeks of hiding out indoors and not answering my phone, I came to wake up to the sad realization that I couldn't leave Minneapolis like this. Tiger Lily and Mary Jane pulled me out of my state of depression as well as a surprising heroic appearance by the White Knight. 

The White Knight reminded me how special I truly was to him. Even though we both know now that our break up was the right decision, we will always be special to one another. As heartbreaking as it is to acknowledge that something isn't working out, it opens our eyes to other possibilities. I am not pretending that I am ready to go out a date again, but someday I'll find someone that fits just perfectly. Till then I am not worrying about love. As Jay-Z would say "I've got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one." 

I have so much to explore and learn that I have made the decision to really go out and see the world for myself. This is the time for self-reflection and I plan on bringing my readers with me. We will start with Texas and then London, and then the world.  Alone doesn't have to be lonely.