Playing Catch up

Well, clearly I decided to take a much longer vacation than I had initially intended. As much as I regret not writing I think the break was necessary in order to shake off all of the bitterness that had begun to consume me and my writings. Over the course of my vacation I developed a new out look on my last few months in Minneapolis  and a nasty cold that left me pretty much useless. After some much needed rest and about 30 episodes of "Charmed"(Thanks Netflix) later I have regained my voice both on the internet and in real life.

First of all Mr. Charming, my most recent suitor, is out of the running for my love and affection. Though he was a great rebound, he ended up being much more Mr. Cling than Charm. On our second date he decided to make more than one fatal mistake. #1. He criticized my driving (p.s. he doesn't even have a car, so shouldn't he be grateful for the free ride?) #2. I ended up paying for the date. #3. He was silent through most of the date, but would laugh to himself. I asked him what was up and all he would say was that he was trying to figure me out... no offense but when I'm on a date I do not want to feel like I am under examination. #4. He asked if he could meet my parents!!! (It's only our 2nd date jeez) #5. Took everything way too seriously. #6. After I had dropped him off for the night he called me not even 20 minutes later wanting to discuss our relationship and where this was going! Need I go further? At first I began to think maybe I am not used to nice guys... but as of last night I received a text message from a mutual friend that had set us up. Turns out that he is seeing three other women and is acting a bit more than strange. Farewell Mr. Charming. Turns out your charm only lasts so long.

On a different note, it seemed as though life was preparing me to move on to the next chapter in my life. After hanging around the White Knight I have realized that it may not be just me who is moving on. At first this scared me, but after all wasn't it I who was the first to venture out into the dating world again. I had achieved what I wanted by being the first to hop back into bed, but somehow all of that seems foolish now. Maybe I wasn't as prepared for the ramifications of my actions. Even though we are both taking great strides in moving on (He now has an Okcupid account now too...awkward) I am filled with a sadness. It's different however. This pain is dull and unlike the sharp pain experienced by sudden loss. Perhaps it is dull because it comes with acceptance. I accept that things will never be the same, I accept that this is what must be done, and I accept that no matter what that I am leaving.

Besides the pain of losing love, I also felt abandoned by my friends. Tiger Lily and I had a falling out over the course of my vacation. If you remember I was planning on celebrating my week of hell and homework by attending a Tech N9ne concert. Well that was a complete bust. I hurried home after my class on Thursday in hopes of meeting Tiger Lily at the concert. I hastily slipped into my sexiest dress and phoned a cab, all whilst downing 4 shots of cheap vodka. As I arrived at epic I also arrived to a looong line of anxious Tech N9ne fans. I called Tiger Lily in hopes of her meeting me outside with my ticket, but was dismayed when I realized I would have to wait like all of the others. I was told to call Tiger Lily once I hit the front of the line, but once I finally reached the concert doors Tiger Lily was no where to be found. An hour later, 28 ignored calls, and 8 or 9 text messages later there was still no sign of Tiger Lily. I was fed up and hurt. She knew how important that night was for me after how awful the week had been. There was nothing I needed more that night than a friend and a chance to shake off the worries and stresses that the week had caused me. I felt completely alone as I slammed down 3 vodka cranberries and looked over the masses chanting and dancing to Tech N9ne. Finally I gave up a grabbed a taxi. I was not about to go sulk alone at home so instead I crashed at the White Knights house. As I looked at my phone hoping for some apology I realized that my best friend at that moment was my Ex. For some reason this wasn't the most comforting feeling.

A few days went by and I had time to cool off and think over the events that had taken place, but alas my week did not get any easier. I got yelled at by both of my current bosses and dealt with the cruel fact that people are mean and work friends are just that. There is a reason why people choose to keep their professional life separate from their personal. Turns out some of my co-workers decided to spread rumors and lies that almost cost me my job. The people that I worked with and considered my friends had turned their back on me as well. Now I was positive that I was ready for a new start.

Finally a few more days passed and I got word and apology from Tiger Lily, but unfortunately the damage was done. I accept that we all do stupid and selfish things, but my trust is a bit diminished at the moment. My anger has subsided and I am so grateful and happy to have her as a friend, but I was hurt and it's taking sometime for me to mend the wounds. We are back on track however and I am happy to call her one of my best friends. : )

As for the men in my life... maybe it is time I took a break. The only problem is that Ill have plenty of time for breaks once I am back under the rule of my parents in TX. So shouldn't I get as much fun in while I can? The devil on my shoulder says to leap right in, however the one with the Halo is telling me to have patience. I'd love to get some opinions from my readers...what do you think?

Until Next Time,
Just Another Girl

Week of Yuck

I'm back from my man-cation!!! Unfortunately the relaxing time I was hoping to spend ended up being a week from hell. SO much has happened and I would rather not linger on all of the details, so in hopes of saving time I have provided my week in list format.

1. Mid-term
2. Three days of hard core cramming
3. An Essay
4. forgetting to do a whole chunk of that essay
5. Rushing out of class to go to a concert that I got stood up at.  
6. Getting in a fight with two of my friends
7. Getting yelled at by my boss at my internship
8. Getting yelled at by my boss at my work
9. A rumor that almost got me fired. Thank you to whoever decided to spread lies that I skipped work to go to a concert.
10. And finally now I am sick and haven't left my bed. yay!!!

That's all for now. Thus proving that when it rains, it pours.

Introducing Tiger Lily

Hello Everyone!!
Tiger Lily here, since my good friend is on a mancation this week I offered to take over here for her, as it seems that in the past 2 weeks more has happened with me and the fine men of Minneapolis than in the past 6 months.


A little bit about me...I just graduated from the University of Minnesota in psychology and am hoping that I will be starting school to get my PhD in the fall. I work at a group home for mentally ill adults and I love my job.  In the summer of 2010 I went through a really rough break up, and man that boy is still a little nuts! I enjoy the ahem *company* of both men and women, but this does NOT mean that I want to have a threesome with you and your significant other, as this seems to be the common assumption.  Don't get me wrong a little adventure is always a good time, but the offers get pretty creepy and weird pretty quickly. I am saying this for every bisexual girl out there, ATTENTION MEN: just because a girl is bisexual it does not mean she wants to have sex with you and your girlfriend because
1) you might be ugly
2) your girlfriend might be ugly
3) Bisexual does not mean "a person that has sex with anything that moves"

As you may recall, in August I made a promise Just Another Girl that i would be celibate for 6 months.  I figured since I was already 4 months into a dry spell, another 6 would be no problem.  Everything was going fine until the week before Halloween.  One night I hung out with an old flame, we will call him the Friend.  He and I met when we were both in relationships and became friends.  Well, we both ended our relationships in the summer of 2010.  We hooked up until about February but never had sex, and just started hanging out again recently.  Now this is probably the most confusing relationship in my life.  We are friends and we hang out, sometimes we just cuddle and fall asleep, sometimes we hook up, but, after almost a year of hanging out and hooking up on and off, we have not yet had sex, it hasn't really even been put on the table!! So one night the week before Halloween he called me and my parents were out of town.  So of course he comes over and we have a couple cocktails and catch up on life. Around 3am we get tired and retire to my bedroom. We lay in my bed talking and he keeps inching closer, until his face is a half in away from mine, he's so close i can feel his breath on my lips.  We end up hooking up, and bam, there goes my celibacy vow, but totally worth it.

Then Halloween weekend I met a man at Brothers, the Pimp.  We danced all night and after a little making out on the dance floor, I gave him my number.  He left to get me a drink but while he was gone, I met my Turkish Delight.  I swooned at his accent, he asked me to dance and within 2 minutes I had forgotten all about the Pimp.    I left with the Turkish Delight and we ended up going back to his house.. lets just say after that night there was no question of me breaking my vow, it was so broken but come on, he was a good looking man with an accent, what was I supposed to do?!  Finally, there is REM, a boy I work with.  This relationship is definitely much more slow paced, mostly based on texting, in fact we have been talking for a month but have only gone on one date, to him I kind of just want to say, grow a pair and take me out again, I know you like me!!!

So these are the four men that I have aquired in the last 2 weeks and am carefully trying to juggle.  I have dates with the Pimp and the Turkish delight this week, plus Mary Jane's birthday this weekend, it should be a fun, man filled weekend!! Now if I only I could find a lady to mix in with all these men, my love life would be complete, so if anyone knows any eligable bachelorette's, let me know :)

~Tiger Lily

Man-cation

Hey everyone,

So in light of recent events and dates I am taking a man-free vacation until at least Thursday in which Tiger Lily and I will be partying it up at the Tech n9ne concert. So to entertain you while I am gone and to give you a different perspective, Tiger Lily will be in charge of writing this week. She will fill you in on all of the dirty details. Wish me luck on my detox. My time of Hermitage in my apartment starts now!




Eat. Pray. Love. is what I have in store for the time being : )

Moving On...Litterally

I have some BIG NEWS. My blog and I will be moving in two to three months!!!
Yeehaw! This girl will be relocating to Dallas, Texas in hopes of wrangling some cowboys. I have decided to become a female nomad and begin my journey down south in hopes of continuing on to LONDON in the summer. Who could resist English blokes and Dallas cowboys?  It's going to be a few bitter sweet months and I am still trying to wrap my head around my journey ahead, but you will be with me every step of the way.

 

With all of this exciting news I can't help but wish a certain someone would follow the examples of all of the great romance movies...

I Can't Get No Satisfaction

I CAN'T GET NO SATISFACTION

And it's a god damn shame. We all have been there, in bed, trying our hardest and yet the end never comes so to speak. Cosmo magazine has always alerted me that this is common and normal for women, but lately I've noticed that it's not just the women who have problems coming to fruition. 

This could be caused by a number of things, liquor, nerves, maybe he has masturbated before, or maybe he's too afraid to show you how he likes it done. Every guy is different, but nothing is more disappointing than not getting proof of a "job" well done. As vile as it sounds, an orgasm is like a pat on the back for both partners. It's two bodies working as one, both aiming to please the other. However, after about an hour or so of foreplay and thrusting shouldn't there be a point where if it's going to happen it should have already? Can some guy answer me this question, if you can't orgasm, what is the point?  

This morning I had a lovely conversation with my two girlfriends Mary Jane and Tiger Lily, both have encountered men that were nearly impossible to please. One had never cum during sex!  How is this possible?   

I thought men were supposed to cum on cue? Obviously all of the horrible teen movies never prepared me for this obstacle. Though the girl may be having great earth shattering sex with the guy, my experience tells me that most would be unsatisfied if she couldn't return the favor.  Let me know your thoughts on this topic. I know there are more of you out there than you are willing to admit. 

Turn Around

In my last blog I ended things with a lot of despair and a hint of resilience, but in this weeks weekend report I have a whole new attitude. I not only turned my weekend around, but have also possibly found a very promising new lad. To recap, after Friday night's weak moment I went to bed and awoke with a whole new out look on life. I could either let this recent development with the White Knight discourage me, or I could just view it as a last obstacle in the game of moving on, a final battle so to speak. A guy that I had recently met over Halloween weekend proposed that we should meet up. Seeing that I was not going to let the Knight disarm me once more, I followed through and made plans with this new Mr. Charming (Time will tell if he gets the honor and title of Prince). I am pleased to say that I made the right move.

Saturday night's date was unexpected and exciting. We ended up going to Stella's (The irony of this will hit you later) and, like a good gentleman, he paid for everything. He kept it simple and fun. There was no pressure and it turns out that both of us had a lot in common. We came back after bar close starving and searching for a late night bite. We turned of course to my recent obsession, Toppers. As we anxiously waited for our pizza, our other hunger got the best of us. Suddenly I was half dressed and pizza was the furthest thing from my mind. My thoughts and heart were racing full speed ahead when my buzzer began to ring (Saved by the bell) I ran and pushed the button that would allow the pizza man in and rushed to throw on anything that would cover up my indecent state of undress. Luckily my date got to the door first and signed for the pizza. We settled down once again and devoured the pizza. I could say things ended there, but what fun would that be? He was cute, smart, and seemed to have his shit together, which is more than I can say for most of the men I have been dating these past few months. I decided to take a leap and see where the night could go.

Let's just say "Stella" got her grove back. So now the question is how do I feel? I honestly haven't computed my thoughts on the whole event, but what I do know is that it was FUN. Isn't this what I have been looking for? I need something simple and exciting. I don't want to worry about where this is going or what this could mean. For once I did something for me and took a risk. The best part was that in the morning, I wasn't thinking about Mr. White Knight or how it would effect him. I was finally gaining an independence and claim of my own body. I am a single woman hear me roar!

At first I felt a woman's guilt about what had occurred. As women we are expected to keep ourselves chaste, our numbers low, and our sexual desires at a dull roar. When are we going to retire these titles such as whore and slut? Men are praised for being sexually experienced. We love the bad boys and the Casanovas, but for ourselves we degrade the women who do the exact same things.  Why? Why must our morals and genders spoil something that is not wrong in the first place? My number is low, but I sometimes wonder, is this me adhering to what society thinks a woman should be? Am I censoring myself in an act of conforming to the limitations of my gender? Food for thought.

Drum Roll Please...

I'm a security blanket.
I thought I was done being heart broken, but as soon as I let my gaurd down and opened  that door just a crack, wham! A flood of emotions just swept over me to take me down the river of desperation. I never want to feel this way again. Not by him.

I Wish...

Hello Readers,

This is probably the most cowardly blog I have ever written. I am confused and there are so many things on my mind that I wish I could say, but can't find the courage to say out loud. It is pathetic that I am willing to say them here to people I barely know, but not to the man who I have been involved with for two years. (Yes that would be The White Knight) Maybe just writing these thoughts down will bring some clarity to my situation and give me the strength to finally say them to his face. 

First of all he keeps sending me all of these signs that he is NOT over me. Doing little acts in hopes (I think) of bringing us closer. These are little acts that only someone who has known him like I have would notice, but none the less his want for me has grown since I began pulling away. Which poses the question; Does he love me or am I just his security blanket? Either way this isn't fair to me or him, and no matter how I phrase this question to him, he avoids it like the plague. He can't take it seriously and I can't ask the question of "Do you love me?" in a way that doesn't sound like I'm the desperate one. 

The truth is that I do love him, but I'm moving on. I need more in a relationship that I am not seeing from him. Here is the deal: if he doesn't love me (which I think is case) He needs to let me go. As much as I love the attention, him, and having him all to myself, He needs to move on and allow me to do the same. The thing that I wish most for him is for him to be happy. I would like to see him (maybe not visibly) fall in love and achieve all that he wants in life. I would also like to be happy and not feel as though we are holding each other back. Especially with the likelihood of me moving out of state in a few months time. However if he does love me, well then I am confused. I don't want to say that he is out of my heart quite fully, but there are a lot of things that he would have to prove before I could pull down this wall that I have created between us. The fact is that he broke my heart and I don't know if I have forgiven him for that. He not only broke my heart once by breaking up with me, but twice. He got cold feet and ran away at the mention of those three words. How can he begin to gain back my trust? But most of all before he can love me (if he even does) he needs to begin to love himself. 

This stage that we are in confuses me to no end. Maybe it is time to rip off the band aid and let the pain begin. I want to move on. Whether that is with him or with out. I hope he feels the same. 

Until Next Time, 

Just Another Girl  

Halloween's tricks and treats

Happy Belated Halloween! I hope everyone had a fabulous holiday and didn't freeze too much running around in those short costumes. I find it absolutely hilarious that the only options for women in the Halloween super stores are slutty versions of cops, nurses, witches, and any thing else you could possibly dream of. Needless to say dressing conservative is out of the question. However, the men's section is much more clever and warmer for the cold October holiday. Anyway, I am not here to rant about the marketing for Halloween today. Instead, sit back and relax as I recap the weekend. The weekend was full of treats and tricks. However the tricks have put a sour taste in my mouth in which I'm hoping some chocolate might help.

On Saturday night I threw a small get together at my apartment. A few people showed up, but sadly it was not exactly the turn out I was hoping for. Tiger Lily joined me after work along with The White Knight and we got into out costumes and headed out into the city. We decided to make it simple and just go to the cheap bro bar known as Brothers. As much as it is trashy, I never cease to have a good time. We met a few friends there along the way and I was introduced to a very cute new boy. The only problem was that I had The White Knight and I wasn't about to ditch him. The White Knight and I were finally getting along and the last thing I needed was to start up drama. I flirted with the new boy but kept my distance out of respect. The funny thing  was that The White Knight encouraged me to dance with the new guy. The only problem was that when I did, The White Knight just sat in a corner and sipped his drink. He wasn't even trying to meet new people and he even had girls trying to talk to him. I gave him the "it's okay" sign, but he just shrugged it off stating that they were only after free drinks.

A tip to men- Use the drink situation to break the ice! Not all of us are cold heartless bitches who are only trying to get a free Rum and Coke.

I felt guilty and ended up blowing off new guy to make sure The White Knight was having a fun night. Later that night we came back to my place and Miss Tiger Lily had found a cute Turkish boy to cuddle with on my couch. (His accent was pretty damn attractive.) Though, this is where my time with The White Knight turned ugly. He was upset that she had brought over another boy and that earlier in the night Tiger Lily had set her sights on a different boy. The thing about Tiger Lily is that she is a single woman and she can do whatever she wants. The Knight turned to me and stated "You would never do that" in which I snorted in laughter and said "I have done that". It's harmless fun and I feel as though women get put on this pedestal that most of us can't live up to. It is unfair and frankly foolish. However the moral of this story is that maybe The White Knight doesn't know me as well as I thought. I can't live up to his image and I certainly don't want to.

And now for the real trick of Halloween weekend. Yesterday I had a scheduled date with the Hipster. I contacted him to see if we were still on and everything seemed fine. The plan was for me and my girlfriends to meet him and his friends at First Ave. We were supposed to leave around 9 pm, so at 8:30 I sent him a text...nothing. An hour rolled around and I still hadn't heard from him, so I called...nothing. Finally I decided to say screw him and go out with just my girls. After all we had spent time getting ready and putting on our costumes. I called up Madison and we headed to the Uptown bars. I met two very nice guys, but failed at kissing them since out of frustration I had consumed one too many drinks. (I did get digits however). Finally at  12:43 AM(!!!!!) The Hipster text messages me, stating that he forgot his phone at home and he was so sorry. "Please don't be mad" he stated, however it was a little too late. I simply text-ed back "I am kinda mad. I am out right now. I got three of my girlfriends to come out and never heard from you." ... No response from the Hipster after that.

I am sorry, but if you are into someone and you know you have plans with them, you keep your phone by you at all times!!! Clearly he is either a dumb ass or avoiding the painful discussion that he's just not that into me.
Spare me the excuses and just be real with me. Don't waste my time, I have plenty of other options.

Sincerely,
Just Another Girl