Playing Catch up

Well, clearly I decided to take a much longer vacation than I had initially intended. As much as I regret not writing I think the break was necessary in order to shake off all of the bitterness that had begun to consume me and my writings. Over the course of my vacation I developed a new out look on my last few months in Minneapolis  and a nasty cold that left me pretty much useless. After some much needed rest and about 30 episodes of "Charmed"(Thanks Netflix) later I have regained my voice both on the internet and in real life.

First of all Mr. Charming, my most recent suitor, is out of the running for my love and affection. Though he was a great rebound, he ended up being much more Mr. Cling than Charm. On our second date he decided to make more than one fatal mistake. #1. He criticized my driving (p.s. he doesn't even have a car, so shouldn't he be grateful for the free ride?) #2. I ended up paying for the date. #3. He was silent through most of the date, but would laugh to himself. I asked him what was up and all he would say was that he was trying to figure me out... no offense but when I'm on a date I do not want to feel like I am under examination. #4. He asked if he could meet my parents!!! (It's only our 2nd date jeez) #5. Took everything way too seriously. #6. After I had dropped him off for the night he called me not even 20 minutes later wanting to discuss our relationship and where this was going! Need I go further? At first I began to think maybe I am not used to nice guys... but as of last night I received a text message from a mutual friend that had set us up. Turns out that he is seeing three other women and is acting a bit more than strange. Farewell Mr. Charming. Turns out your charm only lasts so long.

On a different note, it seemed as though life was preparing me to move on to the next chapter in my life. After hanging around the White Knight I have realized that it may not be just me who is moving on. At first this scared me, but after all wasn't it I who was the first to venture out into the dating world again. I had achieved what I wanted by being the first to hop back into bed, but somehow all of that seems foolish now. Maybe I wasn't as prepared for the ramifications of my actions. Even though we are both taking great strides in moving on (He now has an Okcupid account now too...awkward) I am filled with a sadness. It's different however. This pain is dull and unlike the sharp pain experienced by sudden loss. Perhaps it is dull because it comes with acceptance. I accept that things will never be the same, I accept that this is what must be done, and I accept that no matter what that I am leaving.

Besides the pain of losing love, I also felt abandoned by my friends. Tiger Lily and I had a falling out over the course of my vacation. If you remember I was planning on celebrating my week of hell and homework by attending a Tech N9ne concert. Well that was a complete bust. I hurried home after my class on Thursday in hopes of meeting Tiger Lily at the concert. I hastily slipped into my sexiest dress and phoned a cab, all whilst downing 4 shots of cheap vodka. As I arrived at epic I also arrived to a looong line of anxious Tech N9ne fans. I called Tiger Lily in hopes of her meeting me outside with my ticket, but was dismayed when I realized I would have to wait like all of the others. I was told to call Tiger Lily once I hit the front of the line, but once I finally reached the concert doors Tiger Lily was no where to be found. An hour later, 28 ignored calls, and 8 or 9 text messages later there was still no sign of Tiger Lily. I was fed up and hurt. She knew how important that night was for me after how awful the week had been. There was nothing I needed more that night than a friend and a chance to shake off the worries and stresses that the week had caused me. I felt completely alone as I slammed down 3 vodka cranberries and looked over the masses chanting and dancing to Tech N9ne. Finally I gave up a grabbed a taxi. I was not about to go sulk alone at home so instead I crashed at the White Knights house. As I looked at my phone hoping for some apology I realized that my best friend at that moment was my Ex. For some reason this wasn't the most comforting feeling.

A few days went by and I had time to cool off and think over the events that had taken place, but alas my week did not get any easier. I got yelled at by both of my current bosses and dealt with the cruel fact that people are mean and work friends are just that. There is a reason why people choose to keep their professional life separate from their personal. Turns out some of my co-workers decided to spread rumors and lies that almost cost me my job. The people that I worked with and considered my friends had turned their back on me as well. Now I was positive that I was ready for a new start.

Finally a few more days passed and I got word and apology from Tiger Lily, but unfortunately the damage was done. I accept that we all do stupid and selfish things, but my trust is a bit diminished at the moment. My anger has subsided and I am so grateful and happy to have her as a friend, but I was hurt and it's taking sometime for me to mend the wounds. We are back on track however and I am happy to call her one of my best friends. : )

As for the men in my life... maybe it is time I took a break. The only problem is that Ill have plenty of time for breaks once I am back under the rule of my parents in TX. So shouldn't I get as much fun in while I can? The devil on my shoulder says to leap right in, however the one with the Halo is telling me to have patience. I'd love to get some opinions from my readers...what do you think?

Until Next Time,
Just Another Girl