Turn Around

In my last blog I ended things with a lot of despair and a hint of resilience, but in this weeks weekend report I have a whole new attitude. I not only turned my weekend around, but have also possibly found a very promising new lad. To recap, after Friday night's weak moment I went to bed and awoke with a whole new out look on life. I could either let this recent development with the White Knight discourage me, or I could just view it as a last obstacle in the game of moving on, a final battle so to speak. A guy that I had recently met over Halloween weekend proposed that we should meet up. Seeing that I was not going to let the Knight disarm me once more, I followed through and made plans with this new Mr. Charming (Time will tell if he gets the honor and title of Prince). I am pleased to say that I made the right move.

Saturday night's date was unexpected and exciting. We ended up going to Stella's (The irony of this will hit you later) and, like a good gentleman, he paid for everything. He kept it simple and fun. There was no pressure and it turns out that both of us had a lot in common. We came back after bar close starving and searching for a late night bite. We turned of course to my recent obsession, Toppers. As we anxiously waited for our pizza, our other hunger got the best of us. Suddenly I was half dressed and pizza was the furthest thing from my mind. My thoughts and heart were racing full speed ahead when my buzzer began to ring (Saved by the bell) I ran and pushed the button that would allow the pizza man in and rushed to throw on anything that would cover up my indecent state of undress. Luckily my date got to the door first and signed for the pizza. We settled down once again and devoured the pizza. I could say things ended there, but what fun would that be? He was cute, smart, and seemed to have his shit together, which is more than I can say for most of the men I have been dating these past few months. I decided to take a leap and see where the night could go.

Let's just say "Stella" got her grove back. So now the question is how do I feel? I honestly haven't computed my thoughts on the whole event, but what I do know is that it was FUN. Isn't this what I have been looking for? I need something simple and exciting. I don't want to worry about where this is going or what this could mean. For once I did something for me and took a risk. The best part was that in the morning, I wasn't thinking about Mr. White Knight or how it would effect him. I was finally gaining an independence and claim of my own body. I am a single woman hear me roar!

At first I felt a woman's guilt about what had occurred. As women we are expected to keep ourselves chaste, our numbers low, and our sexual desires at a dull roar. When are we going to retire these titles such as whore and slut? Men are praised for being sexually experienced. We love the bad boys and the Casanovas, but for ourselves we degrade the women who do the exact same things.  Why? Why must our morals and genders spoil something that is not wrong in the first place? My number is low, but I sometimes wonder, is this me adhering to what society thinks a woman should be? Am I censoring myself in an act of conforming to the limitations of my gender? Food for thought.