Hello Bloggers,
Well these past few weeks have been a whirlwind for me. I have come to the harsh reality of being a grown up, and it is frightening. I seem to have spun into a patch of depression, working two jobs and busting my ass for almost little reward. I keep thinking that this wasn't the life I had signed on for. Wasn't I supposed to be on Broadway or changing the world? I look around at all of my friends, getting jobs in their fields, getting married, and having kids, and I wonder when something like that will happen for me.
I know I feel a bit like a hypocrite considering I have London and Miami just on the horizon, but right now I am so exhausted and lonely that it's hard to focus on the positives. London seems so elusive, even though it is only 3 months away!!!!!!!!!
Also Urban Cowboy keeps surprising me! He is so funny, so sweet, and is a pretty good kisser. The only problem is that this is my year for me, and I am so afraid of letting anyone get in the way of that. I want to be single and successful so badly, but it is also a lonely road. I know we can't pick and choose when we find someone that we click with, but this could not come at a worse time. I am so unstable and grappling with all of these mixed emotions. I have the reality of reality smacking me in the face, London, realizing that I live in Texas, no friends, The White Knight professing his love over text every week, and my 2 jobs which have left me with no time to get anything else done. I can't balance all of this, at least I haven't been able to find a balance. The only thing keeping me sane is working out and How I Met Your Mother re-runs.
When I was little I was always in such a hurry to grow up, now that I am here I really want to get off this ride.
It sounds like you need sound friend advice. Or depending on your relationship with your mom, grown up advice. When I get overwhelmed I usually call my mom and just explain to her how I feel about certain situations but not delving too much into detail if I don't feel comfortable letting her know some things. But parents tend to have awesome advice on the adult world, and you'd be surprised at what they can tell you about juggling all this mess that will actually help you. Hope after writing this you felt better, I'm sure that helps too!!
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