So judging by my last few blogs I decided it was time for a much needed vacation. The closest thing I could afford was a trip to The White Knight's Castle. I was in for a fun night just the two of us and a big bottle of liquor, but when I finally arrived I was surprised to find out that we were not alone. My therapist (aka the roommate and my gay boo) was there with a wonderful pot of pasta ready and waiting for me. Things were going smoothly and I was already three or four cocktails in, when we decided to go to the local dive bar 331. It was Katy Perry night and I was dying to relive my once "Teenage Dream". What I should have realized was how much the white knight had consumed over the past few hours. We arrived at 331 and went to the back patio in hopes of enjoying one of the few precious last warm nights of fall.
Here is where things began to get heated. I cannot recall what exactly set him off other than it was a conversation about how everyone can be a bit self absorbed from time to time. The White Knight in his drunken stupor decided to boldly declare that he was innocent of being self absorbed. I guess I should have just kept my big mouth shut right then and there, but I couldn't help the small giggle that escaped my mouth. This began to open a whole can of worms and an uncomfortable discussion ensued that was anything but relaxing. Bye bye vacation for me. He insisted on specific examples and would not rest until we gave him proof that he could be self absorbed. I tried to be nice and keep it vague, but that wasn't enough for him. Finally filled with frustration I let it all out. Everything that had annoyed me about his selfishness while we were dating that still persisted even now. Such as the fact that he never tried to meet me half way and hang out with my friends or come over to my apartment, the fact that he could never make certain plans in advance just in case something better would come along, and etc. My therapist was all in agreement up till now, but as soon as I let these thoughts out into the open he decided to chime in with "That sounds a little like a relationship". RELATIONSHIP! Excuse me? I am not the only one who keeps putting the elements of a relationship into the knight's and my friendship. But yes of course because I am the girl, my wants and needs get chalked up to me wanting a relationship. Right then I decided this was enough and stormed out stating that I was looking for no strings, but clearly I can't voice my mind without the word relationship coming into play and everything just going from easy to complicated. A few minutes later both of the boys came back into the bar with their tails between their legs. The Knight kissed my neck and apologized for hounding me with questions and not listening to me when I provided him answers. He asked me to dance and I decided to drop the fight for now. Though as we danced to the cover band the word "Relationship" loomed over me.
On our walk home I walked silently hand in hand with the knight. He inquired to what was on my mind and was I still mad about our fight. I simply stated that it didn't matter anymore and that I was fine. He again persisted in asking me to tell him what was on my mind. After question after question and promising me that he wouldn't be angry and that he wanted to know, I finally gave in. By this point we were at home and cuddling in bed. I rolled over to face him and whispered "Are we really just friends? Is that all that this is?". He paused for a moment and attempted to stammer out a reply, just as I thought he was about to answer my question, he violently got up and ran to the bathroom to puke his guts out for the next half an hour. I rolled over, closed my eyes, and decided this was a bad omen. A very bad omen.
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